And that's why I don't do crafts...

I just had a very frustrating experience and I am going to vent here - If you don't want to read it, that's fine with me. I don't have PMS anymore (ONE good thing about having to have a hysterectomy at age 30!), but man I feel irritated right now. It's a combination of my eyes getting used to the contacts I got yesterday and the exerience I just had at Joann's craft store. Here's the story.

During the last week of January I saw a really cute idea for a Valentine's wreath from http://www.theidearoom.net/2010/01/felt-heart-wreath.html. (Sorry, for some reason my html link thingy isn't working so you'll have to cut & paste).



I thought it looked like a cute and simple project I could work on one night while watching a chic flick. I was actually excited because I haven't done anything crafty in awhile. I like to sew and quilt, but I often don't have time to work on a big project. I liked the idea of taking a few hours and completing a project that I could put on our front door and add to the joy of the lovey dovey holiday. All I needed to buy was a styrofoam heart wreath form and 3/4 yard of felt. Back in January I went to Joann's and bought some pretty fuschia felt and then searched the store for a heart wreath form. Ummmm, they were nowhere to be found. Apparently I'm not the only one in Orem, Utah with the heart wreath idea. So, I special ordered one and it was supposed to arrive a few days later. Fast forward to today...March 2nd...I still don't have a heart wreath form. I gave up on the idea when Valentine's Day came and went. I was disappointed, but I got over it...until today and the experience I had when I tried to get my money back.

So, I get to Joann's with my 6 year old son who just had two cavities filled at the dentist and our 2 yr old daughter who is already having a melt down for no apparent reason. I should have walked out the door right then, but I'm stubborn and I was already there, so I kept going. A return shouldn't take very long right? WRONG!!!!

I waited in line and I returned the nonexistent heart wreath form that yes, I had already paid for. Luckily I had saved the receipt in my big, fat George-like wallet (from Seinfeld, remember?) The problem came when I wanted to return the fabric. I had to get out of the return line and go wait in the endless line at the fabric cutting station to have my fabric measured and my receipt stamped before I could get my money back.

So I walked over to the cutting area, while carrying my crying 25 lb daughter, her care bear, and my heavy winter coat because I was breaking out in a sweat (it's 50 degrees out so I have no idea why I was wearing it). I grabbed number 26 and noticed that the number ticker thingy was already on number 18. So I only had to wait for 7 numbers before my own. That shouldn't take long, right? WRONG!!!! It took 40 minutes!!!! With a crying baby throwing a fit, that felt like an eternity!!!! There were only two workers measuring and cutting fabric, which isn't a big deal unless there is a mother-daughter pair hogging one of the workers and having 20 bolts of fabric measured and cut and making decisions and being wishy washy!!! Seriously! They were still there when my turn finally came and went.

And guess what... Joann's usually doesn't accept returns unless it is more than a yard. Ummm, excuse me? Couldn't the first cashier have told me that before I waited 40 minutes to have my 3/4 yard of felt measured? In my sassy old age, I am not accepting that and walking away, especially after waiting 6 weeks for a heart wreath form that never arrived, thanks to Joann's. You better bet I'm going to get my little receipt stamped. And I did. And I got my money back, all $5.78 of it!

I just don't think all of that hassle was worth it. And I realize...THAT'S WHY I DON'T DO CRAFTS!!!!!! I remember that it is a hassle almost every time I want to make something. I can't find what I am looking for or I have to wait forever to have fabric or ribbon cut. Does anyone else have this problem? Is this just a Utah problem or are fabric stores in the rest of the coutry as crowded? The mono-culture here kills me sometimes.

That being said, Brian and I are going to participate in the mono-culture tonight. We have tickets to the BYU men's basketball game! Go Jimmer!!! Maybe I can get some of my aggression out while I am screaming my head off in the Marriott Center...while wearing my glasses!!!!

If you have stretch marks, read this...

I just read this and it brought new perspective to my tummy full of stretch marks. It is from http://www.mormonmommyblogs.com/2010/12/why-i-love-my-stretch-marks.html

"Do you remember that part in Gone With the Wind when Scarlet has just had her baby and is upset because Mammy can only get her corset laced up to 21 inches instead of her pre-pregnancy 19 inches ?

Mammy tells her, "Honey child, you done had a baby. You ain't never gun a be 19 inches again."



I think those are some of the wisest words of the entire show and lately they have been circulating through my mind a lot.

My little nursling will be 7 months old soon and my body is still not back to how it was before I was pregnant with her. Even though I've been back to my original weight for a few months (breastfeeding works wonders on my metabolism) my body is still different. I'm sure you wouldn't notice anything by looking at me, but I've lived in my body for a quarter of century and I can tell you that things aren't the same as before-- my hips are wider, my chest is a bit more saggy, my core muscles aren't quite as tight, and I have six purple marks on my side that remind me my belly really can stretch to an unfathomable size.

I just have to keep telling myself, "Heather child, you done had two babies. Your body ain't never gun a be the same again."

It has taken me awhile to come to terms with it, but it is true. No matter how hard I try my body is never gone to be the same as it was before I had my children. My children are literally parts of myself and they exist because my body sacrificed blood, cells, calcium, iron and millions of other particles to make them. I am literally missing pieces of my body that I will never be able to get back because they are now walking, talking, breathing, laughing, crying, and living in the form of two beautiful children. Becoming a mother, even if you don't physically give birth to a child, requires a huge sacrifice from your body and spirit. It is a sacrifice, that according to Elder Bruce C. Hafen of the First Quorum of the Seventy and his wife Marie K. Hafen, greatly parallels the sacrifice made by our Savior, they said:


"Just as a mother's body may be permanently marked with the signs of pregnancy and childbirth, [the Savior] said, 'I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands' (1 Ne. 21:15–16).

For both a mother and the Savior, those marks memorialize a wrenching sacrifice--the sacrifice of begetting life--for her, physical birth; for him, spiritual rebirth" It gives me strength to remember that just as Christ bears marks in his hands, feet and side as symbols of his blood sacrifice;

I too have stretch marks on my side that bear testimony to my sacrifice of blood and my willingness to bring life into the world. I find strength to go forward with my mothering by remembering that just as Christ's body was resurrected, making him complete physically and spiritually, that my body is constantly renewing itself and that one day I too will be complete, physically and spiritually. I also know that my joy is more full because of my children and that because of the sacrifice my body has made life will go forward and my family will go on eternally.

So for all the mothers our there I want to remind you to rejoice in your stretch marks, to be grateful for your extra weight and wider hips, to accept your c-section scar, and to find joy in the tired bags under your eyes because they are symbols of your sacrifice.

For all you who have yet to become mothers I want to remind you to rejoice in the blood you shed each month because it is a beautiful symbol of hope and it bears testimony to the promise of continuing life.

And for all you women who are struggling with loving and accepting your body I want to remind you that anything or anyone that belittles, exploits, demeans, or mistrusts your body is not from God. Your body is beautiful, mind boggling amazing, and so deeply symbolic of Christ. Also, remember that in the eternal scheme of things--"frankly my dear, no one will give a damn" if you had a 19 inch waist or not. If you are shocked by my swearing, you need to watch the end of Gone with the Wind."

I liked this post because I have had 3 babies and my body is never going to be the same. But, having my children is worth all of the internal damage my body sustained and required surgery to repair, every bit of saggy skin on my mid section that no amount of pilates will ever tighten enough, every scar, stretch mark, and worry wrinkle that are now a permanent part of my appearance. I am working on losing the last 20 pounds of baby weight (15 now!) that I have had off and on since my first pregnancy 8 years ago. I want to be active and healthy, but I don't want to obsess about my stretch marks anymore. They are ugly, but they are my battle scars and they remind me that yes, every sacrifice I make is worth it because I love our children. Besides, I don't need to wear a bikini anyways :).

My treadmill is my new best friend! I worked out 5 days this week for a total of 4 hours, 18 miles and 2300 calories burned! I have had more energy for taking care of our home and family. I have felt more positive and happy. And I have watched a lot of Oprah! It has been good to make time for myself.

Yay for Good Days!

I haven't posted for awhile. I just haven't felt like it to be honest :). Today was a good day. I ran 3 miles on the treadmill without stopping! I haven't done that since my surgery in Nov 2009. With the new year, I have a goal to run three times a week. I would like to compete in the Provo City half-marathon in May, but I'm not sure yet if I am capable of running that far or if my body can handle it.

Sammy stayed home from school today because he had a fever, cough, and sore throat. I had some one on one time with him while Holly took her nap and Josh was at kindergarten. We played Lego Harry Potter on the wii. We played for an hour and finished year one.

I have successfully kept the house clean for 4 days now. And I am doing my laundry tomorrow. I think I finally have a system that works for me. I have the laundry sorted (6-7 loads?) and one load is in the washer and will start automatically at 6:00 tomorrow morning - thanks to the timer on our washer. I take the laundry upstairs to fold since our bedrooms are on the top floor and it is easier for me to carry it that way. I fold in our bedroom while I watch The Biggest Loser, which I DVR every Tuesday night. Then I put the clothes away. I try to do it in one day or two if I have to, but I try not to drag it out any longer than two days. It has been nice to have a system and not feel the laundry nag everyday because laundry isn't really my thing.

I hear Sammy coughing right now. :( I was hoping he could go to school tomorrow. I think I will go see if he needs some cough medicine to help him get through the night.

Good night! I hope tomorrow will be good too.